The best experience I have had with spiritual community is with Celebrate Recovery (CR), a Christian 12 step program which I’ve been involved with since August 2011. It was instrumental in breaking me out of my deep depression, overcoming my childhood abuse, facing and overcoming my eating disorder (I still continue work on this area), feeling emotions again (still working on this, too) and allowing intimate relationships. Started in the early 1990s, it created a Spiritual Community where people could admit their brokenness and come together under the acknowledgement that their higher power is Jesus Christ.
Literally, everyone turns their chairs toward one another in small group and step studies and risks vulnerability as they discuss their victories and struggles. They are companions on a journey together, like Dorothy with the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion on the yellow brick road. They are all broken and needy, looking for the powerful authority to give them answers to their problems and fix their defects. They travel together toward a common goal of being healed and finding a place of acceptance and love (home).
When one traveler came under attack, the others helped with defense. When some got tired and laid down during the journey, the others woke them up so they could keep moving. When there was a large obstacle, they created a plan and worked it together. They encouraged and challenged one another to be the very best they could be, and to fulfill their destiny. Yup, sounds like Celebrate Recovery to me!
I once heard a young man call CR “church for real people”, where you don’t have to pretend that you are ok, but can take off your mask. I like that definition, because unfortunately, in many cases, church has become a social club where people exchange meaningless pleasantries with each other and do not get involved in each other’s lives. Relationships are limited to shaking hands, responding with “I’m fine, how are you?” and moving on quickly so we can listen to a sermon and leave and we can get back to real life.
But real life is our problem. We don’t know how to deal with it head on without using coping mechanisms, some very well dressed and manicured, and others painfully and woefully ragged (at least to everyone else around). Something in our past has affected how we see ourselves, others and the world around us, and some hurt has made us afraid to feel certain emotions, and so we break down when daily situations trigger those emotions. For many people, our caregivers were broken themselves, and although they did the best they could, they couldn’t express love and care in a way that we needed.
Although we need healing from the traumas of our past, what we need most is to experience the security, significance, and acceptance that we have been missing. That only comes through relationships with other people, and what better place than in the safety of a local small group of believers who can each admit their own brokenness. CR allows us to practice being the “body of Christ”, the “family of God”, learning how to deal with people and situations in a healthier way.
In last week’s group, something common happened. One woman shared the answers to her Step Study question, and another woman’s mouth dropped open. “I didn’t know anyone else felt like that.” It brings such a sense of hope, and an alleviation of some of the anxiety they were experiencing because they thought there was something wrong with them. Hearing their own thoughts coming out of the mouths of other women always makes them feel better.
They are not alone. There is not something wrong with them that is different than what is wrong with other women. There is hope.
I encourage you to try to find a Celebrate Recovery close to your house. In person is the best thing possible. Go to http://locator.crgroups.info/ and enter in your zip code to find one. If you can’t, do not despair. That is another reason for this web site. We will create virtual meetings for women as we add enough members and leaders who can accommodate.
RESET ASSIGNMENT:
- Go to the CR Group Locator link above and find a local meeting. Start with the Large Group meeting and then ask about Step Studies in the area (we will discuss Step Study next). Commit to going as if it was a chemo or radiation appointment for cancer treatment. Re-arrange your schedule and do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself and pursue your healing.
- If you do not have any CR nearby, please go to one of these forums and let us know if you would like to participate in an online group. We will create these as we have enough participants and leaders:
LARGE GROUP: https://pennyhaynes.com/forums/forum/support-forums/celebrate-recovery-support/no-cr-in-my-area-i-need-a-virtual-large-group-meeting/
STEP STUDY: https://pennyhaynes.com/forums/forum/support-forums/celebrate-recovery-support/no-cr-in-my-area-need-an-online-step-study/ - What issues do you want to focus on when you get to CR? Be specific.