Self-talk can be a good or a bad thing. Sometimes we need to hear out loud certain positive things about ourselves that no one else is saying. It can also help us to solidify new thoughts that we are attempting to integrate into new patterns. But our self-talk can also be destructive, and when it has become a habit that we have left on autopilot, it can be very destructive, and we will not even pay any attention to it.

I once told a co-worker that I had a habit of talking to myself out loud about things I was upset about. Her response to my admission of this practice was that she already knew that. I knew that I normally did it in the bathroom, so  I could only assume that she walked into the work bathroom and I must have been blowing off steam in the bathroom stall.

The point of this example is that we may realize that we have the habit of doing it, but not actually know when we are doing it. It has just become a side effect of cruise control for us, and aside from being overheard, has more detrimental side effects.

Just like a small child repeats new words that he has never heard before or sound interesting to him, we will repeat things to ourselves that are either soothing, or will perpetuate aggressive feelings. If our way of handling things is to build up to a rage so we feel powerful in uncontrolled situations, then we will egg ourselves on with more fuel for our fire. If we are trying to calm ourselves down, we will say things that will de-stress the situation in our brain.

Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Proverbs 4:24

See if your self-talk is helping you to resolve the main problem, or is only concerned with eliminating your current feelings of stress. If you are going to talk to yourself, and answer yourself, at least make it work in your favor. Do not entertain negative self-talk that does not produce an efficient solution to the issue at hand.