When people encounter traumatic feelings, it is not unusual for them to separate themselves from the feelings as well as as the events or thoughts that evoked those feelings.  We can hide things from ourselves, and even lie to ourselves, if it will allow us to survive in this world. That is why we can “stuff” our emotions, or bury them so we can put as much distance as possible between us and our most painful emotions and fear-inducing thoughts.

However, God the Father and Jesus never intended for us to be emotionless.  They created us their image, and they express the full range of emotions.  I encourage you to read this article about the emotions of Jesus:

In our quest to be like Jesus we often overlook his emotions. Jesus reveals what it means to be fully human and made in the image of God. His emotions reflect the image of God without any deficiency or distortion. When we compare our own emotional lives to his, we become aware of our need for a transformation of our emotions so that we can be fully human, as he is.

Jesus felt compassion; he was angry, indignant, and consumed with zeal; he was troubled, greatly distressed, very sorrowful, depressed, deeply moved, and grieved; he sighed; he wept and sobbed; he groaned; he was in agony; he was surprised and amazed; he rejoiced very greatly and was full of joy; he greatly desired, and he loved. http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1997/february3/7t2042.html

Here are just a few scriptures highlighting these emotions:

Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him… Mark 10:21

Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103:13

Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes… Matthew 20:34

I will rejoice over them to do them good… Jeremiah 32:41

My anger will be kindled… Exodus 22:24

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” John 11:33-36

So to be truly godly, to be completely conformed into Christ’s image, to experience the fullness of God’s Spirit within us, we must make a conscious decision to choose allegiance to Christ over our allegiance to our self-protection from emotional pain.  You may not think you are there yet, but since you are reading this right now, I have to believe that God is moving you toward that place.  He is saying “Now is the time for your emotional healing to begin.”

At the time that my own restoration began, the Holy Spirit started pointing out my unwillingness to surrender everything to Him, and how I still put myself first.  He also showed me that I didn’t trust Him to be able to carry me through whatever I may experience – that I thought I would have to go through this all by myself.   He reminded me of past times when I could laugh freely, get excited about things, and feel real intimacy and connection with other people. He was wooing me back to a desire to feel emotions again out of obedience to God, so I made the decision to surrender to His request.

He made it clear that baby steps are perfectly fine with Him, so that’s what I started doing.  I’d see a sad post on Facebook and allow myself to empathize and feel what that person must have felt.  I would see my husband in physical and emotional pain, and I would allow myself, for a moment, to imagine what that must feel like. (That is particularly hard for me, because I can’t help him or fix him, so that has historically brought up feelings of frustration and helplessness.)  But I didn’t want to go to certain places in my memories, mind, or feelings.

I knew there were cavernous, dark places in my soul that I had been avoiding for years.  They were scary and I believed I would have absolutely no control over myself and my emotions if I entered there. But God made it abundantly clear – He was calling me to go there.  And so I went.  I’ll discuss how He got me to the other side in the rest of the series.

RESET ASSIGNMENT:

1. Try to imagine God expressing emotions.  See Him laughing. See Him crying. See Him angry. See Him aggravated.  See Him loving and feeling compassion.  When you see Him in these ways, do you see Him feeling those emotions partially, or fully?  Do you want to be free to feel those emotions as well?
2. This is the moment where you really have to ask yourself, “Do I trust God?  Am I willing to believe that He only wants the best for me, and that if He calls me to this place, that it is best for me and my relationship with Him?”  If you hesitate, write down the reasons why you are struggling with this area.