Life with God is one long narrow highway with a succession of exits that appear around every curve with big billboards designed to get our attention and trigger our desires. Sometimes we are completely focused on our destination, listening to praise and worship in the car, praying in the spirit to stay in communication with the One who has called us on this journey. We are committed not to veer off the path He has mapped out for us.
But then we pass an exit with a sign for something we just really, really want, and without even thinking, we find ourselves turning the wheel toward the off ramp, as if controlled by something or someone else, and exiting the direct route we were so adamant about following. We find ourselves going in the wrong direction, throwing off our arrival time, and often we get very lost and can’t find our way back. Or sometimes, someone or something else sideswipes our car, and we find ourselves face down in a ditch, with no clue of how to get out. Sometimes, we get so panicked, we don’t even remember to turn on our GPS to find our way back (read our bible or call a spiritual friend to get step by step directions). We are afraid we will stay lost forever.
That is why we need spiritual community – people in our lives who know the route we were taking, when we left and when we are expected to get there, who will worry if we don’t show up, and possibly even check on us during the journey. Now, I’m not talking about the co-dependent people who want to ride with you, backseat drive for you, or even do the driving for you. I’m talking about people who know how important it is for you learn how to take long journeys by yourself, but want to be supportive in a way that will encourage you.
Now many of us have been so badly burned by other people, that the thought of opening ourselves up to “religious” people might even trigger a panic attack. You do have to be discerning about the people with whom you are willing to share personal details of your life. However, no matter who you pick, you will have to take the risk to let them in if you are ever going to have the one thing you want most on this earth – friends.
You want people to know you, warts and all, and still like, respect and love you. You want to be involved with people who know their own failures and flaws, and therefore will not throw stones because they live in a glass house too. But this will always mean taking a risk, putting yourself out there (a little at a time, not all at once), and giving people the opportunity to prove themselves trustworthy.
The most important characteristic of spiritual community is that, even at our worst moments of acting completely out of control, they still see our desire to be godly, and make sure we know they still see Christ in us. We desperately need to hear this from someone else when we are shaken to our core because we just came face to face with one of our ugliest character defects. Spiritual community is about encouraging each other throughout our journey of self examination, and loving us despite whatever we may find.
Without this spiritual community, we are not only alone and unprotected, we absolutely cannot carry out our Lord’s commands. He commands us to love one another, and although it is easier to try and do that from a distance, that is not fulfilling the spirit of the command. It is only in community that we experience true healing, because that is how he designed us – to live and grow together.
James 5:16 says we are to confess our sins and faults to one another and pray for each other so that we may be healed. When we confess our sins to God, he forgives us; but when we confess our sins to each other, we enter into the process by which we are healed.
I used to have a real problem just being myself – I was used to being a leader, teacher, pastor, minister, etc. I knew that you always had to act like you were the authority, you were in control. You had to be careful what you said and how you said it and who you said it to. You couldn’t risk negatively affecting someone’s spiritual walk, and you didn’t want to do something to make them leave the church.
But I was imprisoned in that role I was playing. I didn’t remember how to just be myself, talk and laugh, without being the leader. I didn’t remember what it was like to just respond in a conversation without first analyzing everything that might be said to make sure it didn’t adversely affect anyone – especially me!
But then, when I was finally healed enough through previous Step Studies to attempt real friendship, God sent the perfect people to my 4th Step Study – women with whom I could create intimate friendships, with whom I could be completely unfiltered “me”. It was so liberating! Those 9 months were some of the best times of my life, because I had a “pack”, women to laugh and cry with, who accepted the raw version of myself, and who loved me just as I was, flaws and all. I wouldn’t have received such a deep healing in that part of me if it weren’t for Spiritual Community.
RESET ASSIGNMENT:
- How do you feel about getting involved with a small group of people to share intimate details of your life and walk with Christ? Why do you feel that way? Have you had any good or bad experiences with sharing in a small group?
- Would you be willing to take the risks necessary to create true spiritual community with other people? What might be stopping you from entering into this type of fellowship?