I love the term Spiritual Communities. It comes from a book by that name by one of my favorite counseling authorities, Dr. Larry Crabb. In this book, Dr. Crabb claims that true healing happens within communities in a much better way than through traditional counseling. That is mainly because counseling misses a vital ingredient required for true, deep healing – entering into a personal, caring relationship with the person to whom you are ministering.
Counseling normally requires keeping a distance between the counselor and the client, but the truth of the matter is that the client doesn’t just want to be heard. She wants to be loved – to feel secure and significant in the lives of others. She wants to be involved with and interact with others, to experience acceptance from and offer acceptance to others. That type of relationship is practically forbidden in counseling.
Dr. Crabb repeatedly uses the picture of people coming together and turning their chairs toward one another. They don’t sit in rows side by side, staring at someone else while they talk. Instead, they talk to one another, offering their own wisdom and life experiences, taking turns listening to each others’ stories. This is the way the Church is supposed to be – meeting in each other’s homes, breaking bread, teaching the truths we have learned from the Word, and being an integral part of each others’ lives.
Additionally, small, intimate groups can provide the family dynamic that many people never had. They are heard, their feelings and thoughts are valued, and they are invited into the lives of others in a personal, not clinical, way. They gain sisters, mothers, aunts, daughters and grandmothers in this setting, and for many women, this will be the healthiest family they have ever been a part of.
Granted, it definitely will not be a perfect family. There will be mistakes made, feelings hurt and offenses taken. But love covers over a multitude of sins, and he who has been forgiven much loves much. When someone has been loved and accepted and forgiven, despite their own faults, failures and character defects, love, relationships can be restored more quickly because they are treating others the same way they want to be treated.
This small group is an opportunity to experience the Spirit flowing through a group of believers, watching Him reveal truths to each person, either through direct revelation or the participation of other group members. In the same way that the Spirit convicts us of sin and righteousness, group members hold each other accountable to stay the course of their individual journeys. And the Spirit will continually bring to our minds what Jesus has said, and continually re-direct our gaze back to our Savior, the Author and Finisher of our faith, the source of all of our help.
As I shared before, one of the greatest and most profound years of healing I received was during my fourth Celebrate Recovery Step Study. I experienced friendship in a way I had not been able to enter into for a very long time. These women didn’t just want to meet with me in group – they wanted to go out to dinner with me, spend time with me, talk with me outside of group.
I was wanted and loved and included and made to feel very special. It brought me an unexpected and overwhelming joy that allowed me to pull down most of my walls and be my true self for the first time in as far back as I could remember. I was willing to take a risk and be more vulnerable, to lay down my defenses and authority persona and just be me, a girl with other girls just giggling, laughing and sometimes crying.
Most of my healing that year came not from the workbooks and the lessons but from the sincere love of 3 other women who made me feel truly treasured and cherished. It was one of the best years of my life.
That is why I am such a believer in Spiritual Community over counseling. Recovery through a group dynamic offers so much more than therapy, and just as important, continued contact with group members outside of group, even if just through text or online, extends the healing process to every day. That is why we will discuss next the continuity factor that contributes so much to the healing process.
RESET ASSIGNMENT:
- Can you think back to a time when you had several friends that you could “hang out” with? How did it make you feel? Did you look forward to being with them? If you are no longer involved with them, how do you feel about not having them around anymore?
- Do you have a hunger for deeper, more intimate personal relationships? Would an extended spiritual family meet a need in you that you have not been able to fill so far? Would you be willing to risk taking down your walls long enough to let in other women who could prove to be healing family members?