Spiritual Community is different from just gathering together.  Take, for example, the group of friends that we may already have. It is women gathering together for a meal and sharing their lives, their struggles, as well as their victories. Normally, these friends have been gathered over many years, and you have differing levels of trust with them, but enough trust to be able to share your life with them.

The problem is that, although you feel better after having shared your heart with these women, your life remains pretty much just as it was before you had that meal with them. Having people listen to you, really hear you, understand you, and empathize with you is very comforting. They can encourage you with a hug, or a personal story that makes you feel that you are not alone.

However, your issues haven’t changed. Experiencing catharsis through sharing is a temporary solution to feeling bad. The truth is that you need more than just a dump session. You need to get to the root of your issues and deal with them one by one, so you can become who God created you to be.

This requires a group of people who will hold you accountable for staying the course of your recovery. They will challenge you when you are not daily applying the truths you are learning, or are avoiding going into your past to revisit the originating source of your stress. They will Echo back to you things that will change your perspective and you realize that there is more going on inside of you than you ever realized.

These characteristics are not found in groups of casual friendships because by nature, they are not intentional enough to accomplish the specific mental, emotional and Behavioral Changes required to change your situation. Spiritual Community has a purpose, a goal in mind, and does not feel complete until everyone in the community has achieved their healing.

In friendship, you hear about someone else’s problems, commiserate for a moment, and then go on your way, probably not thinking about them again. Spiritual community designated for healing sets aside the time to do the required hard work.  They support one another as everyone travels down their own unique road toward healing.

Spiritual Community has a “no man left behind” mentality – as long as each member remains serious about pursuing their healing. However, Spiritual Community members do not chase anyone down who has decided they no longer want to pursue their healing.  And Spiritual Community never ever takes on the responsibility to fix the other people.

On woman, a life-long alcoholic, asked to do Step Study with me. She said she was desperate, because her boyfriend had left her and wouldn’t come back unless she was in recovery.  A few weeks into group, her boyfriend came back.  She immediately left the group.  That showed that she really didn’t care about recovery – she only cared about getting her boyfriend back.  I won’t chase down someone who isn’t serious about recovery.

However, if someone in my group is severely hurting from the recovery process, and wants their healing but cannot maneuver through their emotions and the process, I will pursue them.  I will reach out to them (not pressure them, though) and let them know I am there to meet with and minister to them individually if they need.  I won’t let them go without an attempt to help them stay, but if they decide not to come back, I let them go.

We will talk next about the places where you can enter into Spiritual Community, and how to create that community if it doesn’t already exist.