There are five (5) basic steps to resetting your Life Patterns using the acronym RESET.

• R – Recognize/Realize
• E – Examine/Exercise
• S – Seek/Search/Study/Step Back/Spell Out
• E – Explain/Elaborate/ECHO/Embrace
• T – Test/Taper/Tell

Here is where spiritual community comes into play.  You can only get so far on your own because God created us to function and prosper a community, many members in one body with one Head, Jesus Christ.  I’m sure you can attest to this truth, since you have probably spent time trying to figure out how to fix your issues yourself, without the help of others.  You’re here learning about Life Patterns because it didn’t fully work.

Now that you have connected your physical and emotional response back to a previous event, have studied it for its meaning and effect on your past life, and have clarified and modified its meaning for your future life, you need to turn that “aha” moment into a cemented truth that creates a new, healthy Life Pattern.  This is where people lose traction when they are alone.

You need a Christian support group that invites you to share what you have learned. You need believers who have a vested interest in hearing about your journey and your revelations, because they know the Spirit can use your words to reveal what they need for their own healing.  They can give you godly feedback on things you may not yet understand or clearly see because you are still too enmeshed inside of it.

Participation in this group encourages you to keep repeating your truths so they become a natural part of your personal narrative – the stories you tell about yourself.  It also adds a level of accountability to your personal journey toward healing, because you all give each other permission to speak into your lives when you see any of you speaking or acting in a way that is contradictory to your “aha” moment.  They encourage you to act according to your truth, and remind you of that truth when your old Life Patterns try to hijack you.

So in this safe and supportive group, you will explain what you have learned to an eager audience. You will retell the original memory, then what you learned as an adult bystander, and how you ministered the truth to yourself to bring yourself a sense of mental and emotional closure.  Then you will retell the final story according to your new final narrative.

Next you will elaborate how this past memory has been affecting your life up until now.  Then expand to how you plan on handling future issues like those that have previously triggered your old Life Pattern.  Then you will allow the others to give you feedback according to the ECHO process so you can hear what you said to them.  They will clarify events and emotions, confusion and contradictions, any feelings of helplessness, and the name of others involved in your narrative so you can evaluate if there are any important points you may have missed.  You will learn more about this process in the Introduction to ECHO series.

Finally, you will start embracing your new narrative by repeating it to yourself and your group until it becomes your natural response when asked about the event.  To embrace something is to bring it to yourself and accept it as your own.   This is necessary if your new Life Pattern is to grow from this newer, healthier understanding of the event that was causing you continued emotional pain.

One of the most satisfying things I see happen in groups is when one member falls back into an old pattern, believing an older version of their narrative, and the other members point out that discrepancy. They hold the member accountable for returning to the new narrative, and make her repeat it several times until she remembers what really happened.  We don’t have the objectivity and clarity of vision to do this for ourselves – it takes a village to be healed.

RESET ASSIGNMENT:

1. Do you have access to a supportive group or people who are eager to resolve their own emotional and behavioral issues as well as walk with you as you work on your own?
2. If not, where can you find such a group? Do you have people in your church or recovery group from which to choose?  Will you have to look elsewhere, like on sites like this one, to find like-minded people?