We have discussed the individual elements involved in the ECHO process.  They are:

• E – Events and Emotions
• C – Confusion and Contradictions
• H – Helplessness
• O – Others

However, the main point of echoing back to someone what they are saying is to help them understand what they currently truly believe about themselves.   Despite whatever they say and do to make themselves look like a “normal” healthy person, somewhere in their conversation, they will reveal what they really think is true about themselves.   If you catch someone saying under her breath to herself “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”, you’ll catch a glimpse of that otherwise successful looking person’s real belief about herself.

That was my problem.  I would do something that I shouldn’t have done, that I thought I should have known better, and no matter how little it was, I would mutter to myself, “Idiot!”  I did that for decades before I learned that I was saying outside that I thought I was an idiot.  I was reinforcing out loud to myself that I was an idiot.  I was horrified when I finally caught it.

I decided to fight fire with fire.  If I started saying it again, I would say out loud to myself “I’m not an idiot! I just made a mistake.”, and after I did it a few times, I never called myself an idiot again.

Self talk affects your bodily responses as well as your emotions and your subconscious.  If you say something negative about yourself, your body will feel deflated, like you are weighted down, and you will feel negative emotions.  If you say something positive about yourself, you will feel lighter, and feel hopeful.  It is also believed that your subconscious mind is always listening to everything you say, without evaluating it or comparing it with reality.  What you say is true according to your subconscious, and it will then do whatever it can to affect circumstances around you to make what you say a reality in your life.

So helping someone acknowledge their negative self talk can help change their overall attitude, their physical well being, as well as their circumstances. When I was a teenager, I would look for a sign regarding how the day would go.  If something bad happened early on, I decided it would be a bad day, and sure enough, I would see only the bad things that happened that day.  If something good happened, it would be a good day, and of course I would see only good things that day.  My outlook on the day determined how I filtered what happened to me.

Another example is when someone a girl says “no boys like me”, but there is actually at least one boy who likes her – she just doesn’t like that boy, but likes someone else.  We will see the situation the way we tell our mind to see it.  So we need to start speaking the truth and positive things about ourselves and our situations if we are going to be healthy and prosper in our goals.

RESET ASSIGNMENT:

1. What kind of self talk do you speak?  Are you speaking negative things?  If so, consider making a conscious attempt to speak positive things about yourself.  See how you feel.
2. What kind of self talk do you hear others speaking?  Do you see happy people saying negative things, or unhappy people saying positive things?  Most likely not.  Watch and listen for self talk in the people around you and what their lives look like.