What characteristics describing codependence from this lesson apply to you?

[pennyshaynes]

Look at Chapter 1’s list of characteristics, and answer below with a few that apply to you.

[pennyshaynes]

Believing a relationship with a significant other will fill the ultimate need for love.
Relationships with emotionally unavailable people.
Inability to say No
Tolerating mistreatment or abuse while justifying their behavior
Avoiding conflict to the point of not speaking true feelings or asking for needs, countered with rage.
Worry about other people’s feelings, bound to another’s emotions.

[Kina]

* Believing a relationship with a significant other will fill the ultimate need for love.
* Depending on relationships with emotionally unavailable people to meet own needs.
* Bound in relationships by performance (what I do) rather than core value and worth (who I am).
* Obsession with other people’s problems and needs.
* Overly caring for other people to the neglect of self needs. Feeling victimized and “used” as a result.
Inability to say “NO”.
* Fits of anger or rage due to inability to speak true feelings or ask for valid needs (passive-aggressive).
* Covering up for irresponsible people in life by lying or “filling in the gaps” to “help” them.
* Doing for others what they should be doing for themselves.
* Directly and indirectly attempt to fix, manage or control another person’s problems, even if meant in a loving way.
* Trying to please others by going out of the way to be helpful, thoughtful, or caring, and then becoming angry or discouraged if the desired response does not help (motives were to get the person to respond, rather than try to bless them.)
* Migrating towards people that need help, yet having difficult time receiving help from others.
* Being willing to compromise personal belief systems or morals to please another person or to have emotional needs met.
* Worrying about other people’s feelings so much hat it has a direct effect on own feelings. Being bound to another person’s emotions (happy when they are happy, upset when they are upset).
* Fear of isolating out of fear of close relationships.

[pennyshaynes]

Excellent list, Kina! As we deal with healing the source, these things will fall away on their own.

[Author]

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