This is a perfect example of how life is. Yesterday I wrote a post about that day being a good day. Today, however, things changed, as they always do, and today is a bad day. Someone broke into my daughter’s car at our house while we were there and stole her radio and the bass speaker in her trunk.
Number one, we feel violated and angry that someone who must have known her deliberately chose to steal these from her. Secondly, I was UP at the time, changing into my bathing suit at the other end of the house for my morning swim. I heard the dogs barking and could swear I heard a young man say angrily “hush!” to the dogs, but I thought it was her fiance stopping by the house and leaving something for her in her car. This one morning, my husband overslept and wasn’t out there, and I never paid any attention and just went swimming with ear plugs in, and never heard or saw anything else.
Why am I still shaking, hours later? I am so distracted, trying to figure it out, somehow blaming myself and feeling bad for not catching him. I’m irritable and short, not a good thing to be at work, and I can’t concentrate. And my supervisor reminded me first thing of stuff I hadn’t done on Friday, like clean out the refrigerator.
I just can’t shake these feelings, even though we didn’t lose much of value. It is that horrible feeling of vulnerability and that I am no longer safe even at my out of the way house. I’m angry that someone was not only that bold, but that they got away with it. I want justice – and revenge.
But, as I said yesterday, Jesus is still on the throne. He did allow this to happen, but still no one was hurt. Maybe it was good I didn’t go around the house – what if he would have attacked me for seeing him? I feel on edge, but I think it is mainly because I feel so helpless. I must rely on God to deal with this person. I have to completely offload this onto Him, or I will go crazy.
It rains on the just and the unjust alike, but this too shall pass. Tomorrow can still be an extraordinary day. God, help me not to have vindictive thoughts, but let me let You handle the situation and minister to my frightened heart. Thank You for being Lord, even when bad things happen and I’m afraid.
Penny Haynes
http://ChristianWomenWithDepression.com
Penny~ that is TERRIBLE! You are reacting perfectly normal to me. That would be frightening and make me feel vulnerable too. Anger would be the next feeling, I would be livid & protective & want the CREEP caught…HOW DARE HE!!?? Then I would waver between those feelings. You are right, unload on Him, heal through Him and pray that the criminal is convicted in his own heart or caught & convicted another way. Praying for you, your peace of mind and your frightened heart.
Thanks, Terri. My husband has been real ill and venting, too. But we went and got some supper and a tv for the motorhome and we’re calming down. We ARE talking about ways we wish we could protect ourselves.