As many of you know, my family has been hit very hard over the past two weeks. The list of things that has gone wrong physically, mechanically, digitally, ministry-wise, financially and more is too long to post here. Needless to say, it has truly been 2 weeks from hell, and we’re not out of it yet by a long shot.
Yet in the midst of it is this wonderful peace. Yes, I may have broken down in uncontrollable sobs at points during it, but it wasn’t the kind of sadness that cuts to your core. It really wasn’t emotionally painful at all – it was simply a healthy release of pent up frustrations, disappointments and temporary fears. In other words, for the first time in my life, everything went wonky and scary, but it didn’t HURT me.
You have to understand the importance of this. I have lived in fear of being in emotional pain for so long, until this year, I even avoided any movies that had anything in the plot line where someone got hurt. For me to feel sadness and fear and frustration and anger and disappointment and not get lost in it, not be overwhelmed by it, tells me that what God has been showing me about how to be healed is accurate and life changing. And that’s very good news for all of you who are members on this site.
Everything God is showing me, telling me, I am sharing with you. God is setting up divine appointments between me and other women who are hurting and have pushed themselves to seek help, and as a result, they are experiencing hope and freedom for the first time. I also know that is why Satan has come against our family in such a strong way, working up to the Depression conference call I did Monday night.
Do you know that the enemy went even as far as having any email in the internet BANNED if it had a link to my web site! That cannot be coincidence! I’ve been working on the internet since 2004 and I have NEVER had this happen to me before on ANY web site I have created or maintained for myself or others. Only when I told God I would obey and finally have that open teleconference for people with Depression did all of this attempted reign of terror begin. It even stopped Jesus Text me emails and text from going out!
The thing that was most important during all of this was remembering this:
I have absolutely no control over anything right now –
BUT MY GOD DOES.
Fighting against that truth, trying to figure out ways to fix things that are out of your jurisdiction, wearing your mind out for solutions that are beyond your comprehension all lead to mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion. But TRUSTING that God is still in charge, that He is faithful to complete the work which He has started, that He will work all things for my good and His glory brings peace and joy and contentment that is unrivaled.
If you are struggling right now, go back to the basics of Step 2 in the 12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery:
- Do you truly believe that God exists?
- Do you truly believe that He cares for you?
- Do you truly believe that He has the power to restore you to sanity and wholeness?
If you said no to any of these, Satan has an door into your life and will terrorize you. Shut that door tight by being filled by God’s spirit through speaking and singing God’s Word not only to yourself, but more importantly, to others. That is how we are filled according to Ephesians 5:19. Don’t isolate, and don’t just read the word alone – speak it out loud so others can hear and be encouraged. Pour out what you receive and you will be re-filled to overflowing.
So what I have learned is that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God in Christ. There is a peace that passes ALL understanding that awaits us in the middle of trial if we will keep our minds staid on God because we trust in Him. That ever present peace proves that God never leaves us nor forsakes us. The only appropriate response to struggles is surrender to God and trust that He is a good, good Father who will protect and take care of us in the end.
In closing, I want to ask a personal favor from you. My poor husband is suffering the worst of the attack. Please pray for Ronnie – he has been banished to sitting in dark rooms with his eyes covered and ear plugs in his ears because of a mystery illness that has shut him down with horrible headaches that no medicine can cure. The pastor over our ministry to broken people, the executive director over our recovery house, has been completely sidelined through this attack, and I need you to join with me in binding up the enemy and believing for God’s complete healing for him. Thank you so very much.
Your sister in Christ,
Penny